The Boy Has Some Balls...

Okay everyone knows that I sent out an email asking people to send me wishlist so I can get them stuff that they really want for Christmas... Well I sent the email to everyone that was in my address book. Yes it was a mass email, but I just pressed one button. Hell I sent that message to people I haven't talked to in years. But Mike replied like he's somebody special... screw you. I'll just remove you from my address book and next time I'm feeling genorus... you'll be shit out of luck.

Mike's email:
I would greatly appreciate it if in the future you would not send my email address in mail sent to multipe addresses.
 
 As for the gifts.  A check to Bethany church would be great.  I am going on a mission trip to romania again this year and teaching snowboarding to college students.  the cost of my trip will be approximately $3000.00  any contribution can be sent to: Bethany Church
500 Breakfast hill rd.  Greenland, NH
  ** Please include a not stating that the funds are for Michae Afonso- Winter Camp Romania  Missionary.
 
Give Cheerfully.  Your rewards are in Heaven.  God Bless
 
Michael

The After Party...

And we hadn't even started drinking...



We Drank it all!!!



The Aftermath...

The Pumpkin Fest...

Phil & Steve

The Wedding...

I am such a Charlotte

Okay I may not be as waspy as Charlotte, but out of all the Sex and the City gals I’m a Charlotte. I come off as such a badass, super hot chick. Yes I love to watch GOOD porn. And yes I love the strip clubs, receiving a lap dance from a sexy girl is super fun, but my shit is tighter than fort knox. Good luck getting into these jeans. I don’t know if I just have higher morals or what, but I just can’t get myself to engage in casual sex. I know lots of people do it. And there is sooo nothing wrong with it, but I just can’t do it. In fact I don’t think I can ever have sex again. That’s my punishment for believing stupid Mike and engaging in premarital sex. I knew it was wrong, and I sooooo regret it everyday. I should have waited. No man would want to marry me now that I’m no longer a virgin. Hell, no one wants used shoes, who wants a used pussy? And it’s a creepy thought to think that everything I know about sex I learned from some other man. I seriously doubt that guys enjoy knowing that fact. And can someone explain to me how to have sex and not feel attached? I don’t know how people can have casual sex. Or even sleep with more than one person. How does it feel? Does it feel like the first time, all over again? Is your head filled with many questions and doubts?
Another reason I’m such a Charlotte is that I don’t swear. I may think it, I may even write it, but you will not hear shit, fuck, asshole, cocksucker, cunt (does any female use this word)… well you get the point... leave my two lips.

What About Tommy???

Okay so I tried calling Tom with the number he left me... it wouldn't work so I texted him on the cell:

Sorry I'm going to miss seeing you at the pumpkin fest.  I'll come back to Keene the first weekend we both have free.  Call me when you get a chance.

He replied this afternoon:

I just got back in the US.  I'll be home at 12ish.  Call me whenever.

I have never put so much work into getting a guy before.  What should I do next?  I don't know if it is worth all this time I've already put into it.  He does live in Keene which is two hours away, but for Tommy I would do it... I'm just use to a more aggressive type of man.  Mike just jumped on me... well more like I was driving and he kept rubbing his hand on my thigh.  I even put my wallet in my lap trying to stop him, all it did was slow him down .  Imagine me a naive 19 year old virgin, being attacked by an 18 year old horn dog... thank goodness I managed to hold onto my virtue for a while after Mike and I started dating.  But enough about that cum stain loser.  Tommy, Tommy, Tommy... I was this close to giving up on him.

Oh What a Night

  
It’s soooooooo early and I should be getting to bed because I still have a lot to do later today, but the highlights of the night…
 
The wedding was nice.  The theme was fall, everyone cried and Roz gained an entire new family.  I ran into this chick I haven’t seen since 8th grade. 
 
Oh, oh, oh Drama erupted when Roz accidentally left Shauna at the church.  I’m sorry, but I think you have to hear the story live from her to find the humor.  Shauna was pissed and she was in her room explaining what happen to me (sidebar I left the church with her cousin, and Shauna was sitting next to Roz’s car)… (Paraphrasing) “Well I went to see if I could find Roz, so I went back down to see if she was still inside.  When I came back out she was pulling away.  So I started waving my arms like an idiot and running after the car”… (This is when Shauna proceeds to demonstrate by waving her arms for me)…”And I think Mary waved at me”… (Okay this is when I began to loose it and laugh uncontrollably.  At first I though that Shauna was just exaggerating about thinking that Mary waved, you know just to add effect on how stupid she felt, and how much it hurt her.  But it was the way she said it that made me laugh.  She was so super serious and super pissed that I just had to find out what was the dillieo for myself.  I went upstairs to ask Mary if she waved goodbye to Shauna.  After about a million attempts I managed to hold back my laughter enough to ask.  And then Mary said)… “I waved bye to someone.  There were so many people there I don’t know who I waved to, but I did wave to someone outside as we were leaving”… God even now I can’t stop laughing about it.  I just find it sooooo funny.  Not that Shauna got left, but how she described being left and Mary waving goodbye.  I know it’s wrong.  I guess you had to be there. 
 
Matt somehow convinced Toshia and Ginger to skip the pumpkin fest to hang out at a bar with him.  I got irked because those two made such a big deal about being able to go to the pumpkin fest in the first place and all of a sudden they don’t want to go anymore.  What is Matt the Pied Piper of the Pumpkin Festival?  (Rhetoric question) I felt bad, Shauna was so pissed that she didn’t want to go to the Pumpkin Festival.  Even if she didn’t want to go with to the pumpkin fest because she was mad at Roz she should at least gone out with her friends.  Toshia, Ginger and Matt were mad at Roz not Shauna.  Why let that get in the way of a good time?  (Another rhetoric question)  
 
Sooooooo at the pumpkin fest Mary (Roz & Shauna’s new little step sister)… (Side bar… I have this little joke with Roz, every time she gets mad at one of her sister’s I tell her that she loves her sister because she only has one spare.  So now I can let her wish ill on any one sister because now she has two spare sisters.)… It “didn’t rain” and Mary brought home “her” pumpkins Phil and Steve.  There were these little girls. I'm talking like 10 maybe 12 at the very most selling fried dough. They were bored so much that they started saying things like "I like to smoke once a week and get high at the dance". At the end of the night Roz tried to steal a car. Well she got so mad at her key less entry remote that she went to manually open the trunk. While bending over to plack "Mary's" pumpkin on the ground Roz happen to notice that the plates on the car she was trying to get into were not hers. We all look over and the next car (which was only less than a block away) had an open trunk and Roz's signature Zoroz tags. Awwww good times.  I was a little disappointed, but not sad that Tom was in Toronto and not at the festival, but at least we didn’t run into Jimmy, and his baby mama.

Tom is in Toronto!!!!

Sooooo okay Clay called today, but I was working (LOL) and when I went to call him back he was on the phone so I left a message. Then I called Tom to find out about his Pumpkin Fest plans... and I got his voicemail... So I left a message about me being in Keene tomorrow and I even managed to slip in the thing about my new heels... you know my, "I'm sooooooo gettin' laid in these" heels... well when I was leaving another message for Clay, Tom must have called. He left me message saying that he's teaching a class in Toronto, and that we haven't talked in a long time (when did two weeks become a long time?) and I should call him. He gave me the number to the hotel he's staying at and the room.. (like I'm some cheap $2 call girl LOL) he did say that he would be in his room after 5 and I should call him... Then while talking to Roz... she is going through such a rough time right now I don't know what I can do for her except be there, but I don't want to smother her either...I got a beep. I didn't answer the beep, because it was Roz!!! so Clay called again and left another message saying he'll call me later. My God I hope he doesn't call at like 1:30 in the morning again. I luv the guy, but god damn boy don't call at that time during the week. OMG Tom left me a voicemail... that means he heard my dorky greeting... I keep meaning to change that. But if Tom is not going to be in Keene tomorrow... it's sooooo going to be like another 4 years before I'm ever going to have sex again... Bonus... new hottie at work!!!

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About My Sex Life... but Were Afraid to Ask

1)Male or Female? Female

2)Single or married? Single

3) Do you lust someone? Oh yesss

4) Love someone? no right now

5)Virgin? sorta... it's been that long

6)Favorite positon? wouldn't you like to know

7)Last time you had sex? like 4 years ago

8)Are you a sexually active person? NOPE

9)Is there someone you want to have sex with and they dont know it? YUP

10)Toys ok during sex? Oh hell yeah

11)Food? no to messy

12)Do you masterbate often? right before I get my period

13)Have you had sex with anyone on your myspace friends list? nope

14)Have you ever faked an orgasm? yes

15)Are you quiet during sex? sometimes...

16)Have you ever left someone because they could not please you in bed? nope

17)Do you enjoy oral? If the guy knows what he's doing, then yes... I'll only give head if I feel like it, but if a dude asks then he'll never get it from me

18)One place you'd love to have sex that you haven't? in the rain... a full on down pour

19)Have you ever done it in a public place? depends on how public is public...

20)Do you enjoy morning sex? I enjoy morning wood...

21)Is foreplay a must? YES!!!!

22)Music during sex? whatever

23)Have you ever slept with a friends mate? Nope

24)Ever slept with your mates friend? Wasn't my mate at the time

24)Are you attracted to the same sex? yes, but I couldn't go through with it...

25) Name one thing you wont do during sex: go down on a chick

26)Have you ever cried during sex? Yes...

Porn 101 Lesson 3 Porn Clichés

Symbolic Meals
When there is a cooking scene in a porn flick, many directors favor eggs. Whether they are trying to send a subliminal message like eggs = females, and if a man is eating the eggs then the man is eating the woman, or if a woman is eating them it’s some sort of lesbian thing… who knows.
Porn does use a lot of symbolic foods. Bananas are very popular. I’ve noticed that when a banana is used as a dildo when the climax is achieved the banana is then consumed, as if to say a real penis/ man couldn’t satisfy me. Porn is a tool for feminism. It shows that an empowered woman can handle herself not only for sexual needs but also nutritional needs.

Free Ballin’
A fun porn cliché you can put even money on is the, I ain’t wearing underwear. 9 out of 10 times this applies just for the male actors. Watching women in silky, lacey lingerie is a turn on, and who in porn would want to deny anyone a little turn on? But as far men and underwear… I guess they lose it, because its now one less thing getting in between hiss dick and a blowjob.

And my personal favorite porn cliché…

Doin’ It With Your Heels On
Many people fantasize about having sex in heel. When a woman buys high heels she gets a tingle excitement from the seer thought and look of her feet in a pair of sexy stilettos. Why else would a reasonable levelheaded female spend $400 on a pair of strappy black heels that, if they’re lucky, will be worn twice before they become last season’s models? Heels make the leg look more appealing. They give the appearance of a longer, leaner more shapely leg. But does that effect translate when a woman is on her back and her ankles are around her ears?
There is the practical reason for women in porn to keep their shoes on, and that is to save time. There are many flaws in that argument. One such flaw would be if it takes too much camera time to remove the shoes, well then why not just edit that part out? Also it’s rare to see a man with his shoes still on.
Heels appeal sexually to both men and women, and the porn industry is just about the only medium that can exploit this to their full advantage. Advertisers don’t try to sell heels to men.

My Standard Rules For a Hook up

1) I wont make you suck another mans cock, so please provide me the same courtesy
2) Don’t break rule # 1, or I’ll have to get my boys to bust your knee capps.
3) I’m not your girl so if you’re doing something wrong I’m going to tell you
4) I’m not a chicken head whore, so no I will not let you stick your prick in my cunt (one finger maybe)
5) I will suck your dick, if and when I feel like it… If you ask for it, it will never happen
6) Respect this relationship… do not ask for favors (ie. Passing along headshots, resumes, scripts, and demos to my industry connections)
7) Do not tell anyone about this (I only acknowledge legitimate relationships)
8) No bitterness when it’s over. I tend to be a bit boyish about that. Usually I cut all ties.
9) Keep it fun

Hotties

I'm a Genius

Okay I feel as if I must share this wisdom with everyone, I don't get many inspiring thoughts so I'm milking this one for all it's worth... Oh and it might only make sense if you know how Katie can be at times...
If someone thinks ill of you then forget them. Shall I repeat myself for the umpteenth time? Yes you can work a nerve, but who doesn't from time to time. Yes there are times that I want to shove your head in the truck of your car (that's a new one), and yes you are unaware of things that you do that are very, very wrong, but that's who you are. You have been that way for so long I don't think it would be any use trying to change you. I accept you as you are. Friends that grow apart from you and can no long accept you, then forget about them. I know its sad when you lose touch of good friends, but all that means is that whatever it was that got you together in the first place is no longer strong enough. Face it you can't trust or depend on anyone, but yourself. My God... good friends are hard to find. Keep the ones that get it and kick the rest to the curb.

Pumpkin Fest Baby!!!

What: I thought you could read PUMPKIN FEST
When: Saturday Oct 22
Time: Meeting at the Bailey's house (like we'd meet anyplace else) around 5 pm, or in Keene (call the cell).
Where: Main st. Keene, NH
RSVP: Please let us (that's a Bailey sister or myself) know if your going so we don't forget you.

It's All in the Head!!!

I know, not just women do this, but why do people (and I’m not saying who… you know who you are) build an entire fantasy relationship, even before they asked a chick out (or dude whatever)? Do they know what kind of pressure that puts on a relationship? By the time you finally get into a relationship with that other person, the two of you are starting out on two different pages. Where one is ready to settle down with the marriage, kids and white picket fence (having lived the entire awkward getting to know your quirks stage in their head) the other is still stumbling to get a feel on predicting the other’s faces and mystery grunts and groans.

To Walk a Mile in These Shoes... (Remix)

I realized that many people don’t truly understand, depression. Poor little Brit Brit Spears. It’s not something that she can just snap out of. It must take so much energy and strength for her to get up everyday. Small simple task such as going to the post office and bank must put such a panic in her. Especially with paparazzi trying to snap pictures and flash bulbs all the time in her eyes. Brittney Spears gets no credit from people for the small things she does. It’s like a woman without arms and legs running the Boston Marathon. Hundreds of people run the Boston Marathon every year, but if a woman without any limbs did it everyone would make such a big deal… hell it might even be on the leading story on the 11 o’clock news. Well leaving the house everyday is just as difficult for a woman during post pardon as the 26 miles would be for a legless person.